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Despite being in a long distance relationship for a few years now, the total amount of time we’ve actually spent together in person, getting to know one another adds up to mere weeks. The prospect of moving in together is rapidly approaching, and I’m totally lost.Every visit, I’d leave not sure if I wanted to be with this person but as soon as I’d come home loneliness and nostalgia set in and suddenly I’m thinking “Well, it’s probably not as bad as all that. As much as I’m a non-confrontational person, I’ve tried to do some prodding about these issues, and I’ve been met with firm resistance. I don’t enjoy our time together in person, but maybe I just need to get used to it? Staying with her is easier, and safer, and better (so I tell myself). If I break things off now, I will have been wasting her time, for years.The thing is, just sticking around doesn’t mean you’re a better person.In fact, it can often make things worse all around – for them come – and it always does – it becomes pretty obvious that someone’s been sticking around despite desperately wanting to leave.And yet, by staying with her, even though I’m not sure I want to, isn’t that kind of a being a jerk to her as well? She seems committed, and I only feel it when I’m not physically near her. I’m not even sure I’ll want to get out there and try the nightmare that is dating again if I break things off. Like others who’ve been in his position, he should have ended the relationship long before it reached this point.Even now, it’s a fairly open and shut case: he needs to break up with his girlfriend already.There’s nothing that can ensure a swift, decisive kick to your soul’s nuts like finding out your snugglebunny has been dying inside for the last two months, four months, year, what-have you.Other times, people try to avoid breaking up with their partners because they worry about what it says about them.
Like many nerdy people, my hobbies don’t bring me in to social circles which contain a lot of women, so, dating has always been an uphill battle.
because they can’t manage to convince themselves that they need to.
One of the most perverse aspects of being human is how hard we fight against our own best interests.
Our brains are prone to a host of psychological effects and fallacies that convince us that we damn good and well that I needed to break up with my girlfriend – for years longer than I should have.
The good news is that once you recognize these stalling tactics for what they are, you can learn to overcome them.