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A straying partner who has convinced him- herself that life will be wonderful with the new person seldom decides that before he or she leaves they should take one more run at saving the marriage.It’s much more likely that the abandoning spouse will avoid anything that might convince him or her to stop the new relationship and heal the marriage. Your spouse changed but you couldn’t quite explain the changes in a way that seemed to make sense to anyone else.You thought that you were imagining things, being insecure in thinking your spouse had someone else.They might even have heard the startling news that God Himself sent the lover and that He wants them to be together. The fact is that even in these situations a possibility exists that the marriage can be saved and, with time, made good again.Or, they might have heard that your spouse no longer believes what they once believed, so the church folks may as well go bother someone who buys into their malarkey. That may sound Pollyannaish, but I’ve personally witnessed it repeatedly over the last sixteen years.
When you asked questions, the answers seemed a little too slick and too rehearsed. Refuse to cooperate and you will find yourself in a bloody legal battle.Our experience is that if a good person gets straightened out, not only can the marriage be saved, but it can be stronger and more loving than it was before.If you decide to try to save your marriage, immediately stop allowing your spouse to manipulate you in any way. Slow things down and drag things out even if it makes them angry.They seek any counsel, from Christians or otherwise, that empathizes with their position and gives any encouragement whatsoever. It’s your choice, of course, and you can tell your straying spouse to leave and never return.Or, if he or she is a good person involved in a bad situation, you can fight to save your marriage.