Young men dating older men
Try not to judge or psychoanalyze him — that means don’t mention your theory about a father figure.It’s fine to explain that you don’t understand the relationship and even that it worries you. With your husband (and Tim’s father) gone only three years, I can only imagine you’re both still grieving.Even the White House witnessed an intergenerational first family: President Grover Cleveland was 49 when he married Frances Folsom, then 21.(Cleveland had been friends with Folsom’s father, who had been killed when she was only 10 — talk about a father figure!
Dear Civilities: My 19-year-old son (I’ll call him “Tim”) just came out to me.
First, please drop the sharp tone and accusatory remarks, especially that you think Justin is a “predator.” That’s a very loaded term, as Kenny Levine, a psychotherapist who works with LGBT individuals, told me: “I think we need to reserve this word for individuals that engage in sexual behavior with someone who cannot give consent to sexual activity.” Second, appreciate that your son has come out to you and is not having a clandestine relationship.
He trusts you — and I’d suggest you follow his example.
Bennett and Benedetto may make for a particularly striking example (“Lovely fetus you’ve got there, ma’am, here’s my number, have it call it me in 18 years or so”), but older men getting romantically involved with younger women is hardly a rare phenomenon.
Every day, there seems to be another outrageous new celebrity coupling announced via pictures of some May-December frolicking: Jennifer Lawrence sharing a lollipop with Darren Aronofsky; Sean Penn dating Vincent D’Onofrio’s daughter; Mel Gibson having his ninth child with his 26-year-old girlfriend; Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen double-dating with their 47-year-old and 58-year-old respective beaus; Leonardo Di Caprio’s sending another lady-love packing upon her reaching the ripe old age of 25.